The ocean doesn't want me

And do you know what “the world” is to me? Shall I show it to you in my mirror? This world: a monster of energy, without beginning, without end; a firm, iron magnitude of force that does not grow bigger or smaller, that does not expend itself but only transforms itself; as a whole, of unalterable size, a household without expenses or losses, but likewise without increase or income; enclosed by “nothingness” as by a boundary; not something blurry or wasted, not something endlessly extended, but set in a definite space as a definite force, and not a space that might be “empty” here or there, but rather as force throughout, as a play of forces and waves of forces, at the same time one and many, increasing here and at the same time decreasing there; a sea of forces flowing and rushing together, eternally changing, eternally flooding back, with tremendous years of recurrence, with an ebb and a flood of its forms; out of the simplest forms striving toward the most complex, out of the stillest, most rigid, coldest forms striving toward the hottest, most turbulent, most self-contradictory, and then again returning home to the simple out of this abundance, out of the play of contradictions back to the joy of concord, still affirming itself in this uniformity of its courses and its years, blessing itself as that which must return eternally, as a becoming that knows no satiety, no disgust, no weariness.

26 May / 1 June 

26 May / 1 June 

Van Eyck

Just judges, up on the wall,

attest me, leave out no one.

Hole has been dug,

do your best to fill it up.



And my eyes have slept for a thousand years,

praying for rest in spades,
and nothing to worry about.



I know the way out.




Here I sit with head in hand,

glass half-full and draining

waiting on a judgement,

that never fails to side with you,

your absence as a present.



Oh lamb, oh lamb, shut up and help me dig,

dig that hole.